Recently I have been enjoying reading and meditating on Proverbs. I am generally careful with words. In my job it is very important to set forth clear expectations (for example, a specific date is much more clear than “soon”). It is also important that I maintain myself as a calm captain of the ship. If I am always yelling, then when something is urgent, or concerning, or an emergency, it will be hard for people to see it as such because I only have one tone. Conversely, if I am generally even tempered and careful, then the rare occasion when I raise my voice to sound the alarm my team knows that something is terribly wrong.
We have all known someone who often speaks without thinking. They degrade others publicly, they offer inappropriate opinions when they were not asked for, or when the topic doesn’t involve them. We may see people who are unnecessarily nasty to those around them. A spouse or parent who is always correcting or coercing. Or a leader who says one thing in public and another in private. It is hard to see others treated poorly with words. It hurts when someone is rash with us and we begin to question if a leader is genuine when they speak rashly to us or about others.
Even though we know that we want to treat others well and we know the example we want to set, sometimes we lose control of our tongue and we say something hurtful that we cannot take back. We then work to defend our words and actions saying things like “I was tired” or “You just kept pushing me” or “I had a bad day and this was the straw that broke the camels back”. What if in those moments we recognized the ruin and took accountability? Would it make a difference to the person on the receiving end if we simply said “I am so sorry, you didn’t deserve for me to speak to you that way”? Those moments of ruin, even with accountability and a genuine apology hold a permanent spot in our relationships and over time can do long term damage, even when that isn’t what we desire or intend.
In a time when people say things without thinking, use words to intentionally hurt and are aggressive with faceless strangers on social media, I want to continue to work on guarding my lips, measuring my tone and focusing on the relationships I have with the people I interact with, and, for me, this verse was a wonderful reminder.
Prayer: Creator God, who knows our words and intentions, all those things spoken and unspoken. Please help me to be careful with my words and genuine with my approach.
Christi Moock
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