This verse is most reflective of where I am at, following the last five months of a serious health scare, heart failure caused by A-fib. Chronic health problems are not something I imagined ever having to deal with, and I always wondered how I would handle being unable to be active and accomplish. I have always been a doer and an on-the-go person.
Overall, I think I did ok on this unexpected and frustrating journey. I had the advantage of knowing that my heart failure would not result in death. I trusted that the quality of my life and ability to be active again would return. I nurtured my Faith to the extent that I relied on God to love and have mercy on me, and to nurture and comfort my spirit. I was unable to pray well, to form a coherent prayer, and trusted that Father God completed my prayers for me. I did try to find daily joy and do some thoughtful or kind act for someone else, maybe a text or phone call.
However, I was at times discouraged as I had many setbacks and I was aware of what a self-centered time chronic illness is. Granted, I didn't have much extra energy for anything but fighting to get well, but I still dominated most of the conversations with my issues and was pretty darn "me-centered" with both my caregivers (though grateful) and medical team and friends and family.
My heart has finally responded to the surgeries, shocking procedures, and medications and is working correctly on its own, for four weeks! Praise God! I am currently working hard in PT to regain strength and use of my arms and legs so I can eventually resume my life's activities. It will be a slow recovery, but I am on my way!
Emotionally and mentally, I have some healing to do as well, but I am longing to follow this verse to be "other centered" again, to not be so self-absorbed. I want to actively love and enjoy others, catch up on their lives and stories, interact in more give and take situations, think of others' needs first.
Prayer: Father God, thank you for your Healing and comfort during my bout with chronic A-fib. Bless the ministers and friends from Eastridge who prayed with me, ministered to me with visits, gifts, medical equipment loans. I am grateful for my caregivers, my amazing family, friends who brought food, gifts, sent cards, my medical team. Bless them! Guide me to stretch beyond my own care now to those I love and to those who need my help. In Jesus' name. Amen.
Connie Barry
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