The Present of God's Presence

Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. James 4:8 (NRSV)

 

“If you’ll hold on to me for dear life,” says God, “I’ll get you out of any trouble. I’ll give you the best of care if you’ll only get to know and trust me. Call me and I’ll answer, be at your side in bad times.”  Psalm 91:14-15 (MSG)

 

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13 (NIV)

 

The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:17-18 (NIV)

 

My dear Mom recently passed away, and it was the hardest thing I've ever been through.  And yet...I was pleasantly surprised by the moments of peace and hope I was given during the time she was in hospice and at her memorial service. When I earnestly cried out to God, and surrendered to his guiding, comforting hands, my heart was filled with the present of God's presence. It was a feeling like no other.  I felt closer to Him than ever before. I still felt pain, but He made it so much easier to bear. As I lay in bed each night, the grief tried to wrap itself around me, but it wasn't long before His comforting arms wrapped around me instead. How nice it was to also have Him in my head, guiding my thoughts and trying to help me see things the way He does.

  

Now that I've returned home and tried to get back into the swing of things, I've found it difficult to remain in that place of fellowship with God. Grief's had a funny effect on my faith...making it rather fickle. Some days I feel so very close to God and other days so very far away.  Seems a bit like the late winter weather we get in Nebraska. One day it's sunny and pleasant...ahhh... and the next day, frigid and snowy...brrr. Although I have no control over the weather, I do have control over my relationship with God. I can cry out for help or I can stay silent. I can let Him in or keep Him out.  

 

Knowing how wonderful it is to feel God's presence, I wonder why I don't allow myself to be filled with this “present” more often. I'm guessing it has to do with lack of trust. Perhaps God's trying to heal me in a way that's too painful, so I find my own ways to cope. Some days it's been easier to stay numb and stay busy....anything to distract me from the pain. I know that when I stubbornly rely on my own ways, though, I'm only delaying the healing that God wants to bring my heart. So I'm hoping that my heart will soon be ready to more consistently surrender to the One who holds it dear.

 

Prayer: Precious Savior, forgive us for not trusting in the healing and guidance you're longing to send our aching hearts. Please give us the courage we need to ask for your help and place our trust in your ways every single day.  And thank you so much for the precious “present of your presence”, that can “fill us with all joy and peace” and  help us “overflow with hope”...if only we allow You in. Amen.

 

Sharon Irvin