Accepting Myself

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.  I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.  Psalm 139:13-14 

I can do everything through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13 

I think we all have something about ourselves that we’re dissatisfied with. What I’ve struggled with all my life is my quietness. It has caused me missed opportunities (to say something comforting or wise), uncomfortable moments, inconvenience, frustration, envy (of those who can express themselves easily), and many other feelings. Sometimes I just don’t understand why God would make me this way! And try as I might, it’s very difficult for me to change on my own. I end up feeling pretty inadequate. Finally, I had a revelation. I don’t have to feel this way! My problem is not so much in the quietness itself, but in my attitude towards it. My caring friends have helped me to find a more positive outlook.  

Here’s what I need to do: 1. Accept myself the way I am. When I grumble about my quietness, it’s as if I’m challenging the good intentions of my Maker. He made me the way I am for good reasons (even if I don’t always understand them). He loves me this way (so do others)! This acceptance of myself doesn’t mean I should sit back and not try. But it does mean I must surrender to the Holy Spirit’s leading. 2. I need to remember that sometimes my quietness can be a gift to others (like a talker who needs listening ears) or it can lead me to discover my gifts in other areas (maybe writing?). 3. I need to trust that God, through the Holy Spirit, will help me to learn from, and grow beyond those difficult quiet moments as needed according to His will. God can do anything! 

I know I’ll still have my weak moments, where I get disgruntled about my quietness or some other difficulty. When I do, I just need to remember to reach for my Lord to give me the strength I need. His strength will help me to cope, to carry on, or even to rise above. Then instead of grumbling, I’ll be exclaiming: “Thank you, Lord, for the wonderful ways you’re working in my life!” 

Prayer: Dear Lord, forgive me for complaining about the way you made me. Help me to accept myself the way I am and look for ways to use my quietness as a gift to others. Also, help me to surrender to the Holy Spirit’s leading, so that you can mold and shape me into the person you want me to be. Thank you so much for your love and for the friends you send me—to remind me of it. Amen. 

Sharon Irvin (reprinted from the Eastridge Devotional Book, 2008)