Seasons

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. John 13:34

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9 

For over thirty years, Eastridge Presbyterian Church has been my church home. As life goes, there are always ups and downs. The same goes for churches. They have seasons, too. There were big changes in our denomination and our congregation twelve years ago, and again seven or eight years ago. These were especially difficult seasons for EPC and they affected me deeply. Many of my closest church friends, who had once proclaimed I was part of their church family, left for another church family. I was devastated, shocked, confused, angry, and saddened. Honestly, it felt like a divorce. “Church” did not feel the same. I had a choice to make of whether I stayed or not. I took a long look at the reasons why I should stay. If it was for my church “family”, well, a good share of them left me, so I didn’t trust that anymore (now, their leaving probably had nothing to do with me but this was my thinking in my own grief.) I needed to search further.

So, on my way to church every Sunday, I decided to be open to whatever God wanted me to experience that day. No matter who was there or not there, whether the music suited me, if there were busy/noisy little ones near me, or the sermon was captivating or not, I listened and watched to see if I could sense the Holy Spirit moving in that place and what message I was to take home.

In the early part of the discerning season, God was especially felt in the scripture, the prayers and sermons, communion, and the music, oh, the music! Initially, I admit to retreating socially. I didn’t want to make new friends. I was slow to trust again. I wondered if anyone else was hurting like me. Then, I started to notice the people. I saw God working in and through them! God was there as the pastors and office staff loved and served us, shepherding their flock. God was there in the local and world mission; in the caring work of the deacons, trustees, and session; in the uplifting music leaders and choirs; in the welcoming greeters and ushers; in the compassionate Stephen ministers and pantry volunteers; in the connecting bible studies and children’s ministry. God was there in all of us, imperfect people and in our disagreements, conflict resolution, and uncertainty. God was there in the everyday interaction and genuine, steadfast love, and dedication to each other and our Savior.

I began to reflect on a time, in 2007, when God carried me through a dark season following my divorce. God was there in those same people who loved on our family with prayers, cards, food, rides, youth programs, and the divorce support group. When I was full of shame and doubt, questioning my worth, God was there in others to help me feel accepted, forgiven, and encouraged. There were still others who dug deep in their pockets to give more financially, when I wasn’t able to. I never knew who to thank. God was there in the pew with me, as tears flowed, surrendering my will. He was there in the kindness of several who mentored my son or invited him to sit with them on Sunday mornings, so he wasn’t alone, as I was seated with the choir. It was a place I was allowed to be “soft”; a place to heal.

With forgiveness, healing, and reflection, I’ve come to realize God was there in the early 90’s season when we joined the church, raising our family. He was there in the seasons of 2007 and in the last twelve years. He was always there, is here now, and will be in every season to come. My reason for staying is at EPC is because I truly “experience” God here! The Holy Spirit is moving among us, in, and through us! God is providing, protecting, directing, inspiring, and challenging us. As Bob Goff explains, Jesus doesn’t want us to just agree with Him, He wants us to DO as He teaches! Eastridge Presbyterian offers many ways to find connection, to serve others, to work together, to use our gifts for His glory, to learn, teach, and grow in our faith. I am so grateful to be part of a community where we seek to live out God’s mission of hope, love, equality, inclusion, kindness, and peace. We do so in response to His extravagant love and amazing grace. Honestly, it’s the greatest news ever and the joy can’t help but be shared!

Amen

Diane Worrell Eaton