Perspective

For your ways are in full view of the Lord, who examines all your paths. Proverbs 5:21

At 42 I like to believe that I have a fairly balanced view of the world and life. For example, the spilt milk on the tablecloth and carpet could actually be worse.  It could have been grape juice! My seven-year-old-son has only one perspective. His. My thirteen-year-old daughter will inform you that she has the CORRECT perspective. Hers! Our latest “perspective issue” is about mothers. You’ll have to be the judge as to which of us has the more realistic perspective.

When my daughter was ten, my friend and I directed a summer and fall camp at Calvin Crest. Last weekend I filled in as a sponsor at the middle school retreat at Calvin Crest. Three and a half years ago she was neutral about my presence at camp. Irritate, aggravated, embarrassed, stupefied and just downright mad would better characterize her demeanor this time around.

It happened innocently enough. We overslept Saturday morning, grumped at one another, and then hurried to church at 7:45 in the morning. I was busy daydreaming about 31 “adolescent free” hours when I heard that there was a need for a female sponsor. Five years ago I would have said nothing, snuck back to my van and left skid marks in the parking lot. On October 16, 2004 I said, “I could probably go.” My son thought that this was fine. My daughter’s answer came in the form of a nonverbal response. (You know what I mean. The eyes were rolling into the back of her head, the huge sigh, the slouching posture and the arms crossing her torso.)

Another mother witnessing this interaction asked my daughter if she would rather have her mother at the retreat or not be able to go at all.  Before my daughter could answer, I informed this mother that based on the way our morning had gone so far, she would probably opt to stay home and shack up with her grandparents for the weekend.  Much to her dismay, I showed up at the retreat. I’m sure that she was relieved when she discovered that my group of middle schoolers consisted of individuals who did not have the same last name as mine. “Is your mom cool?” This is not a complex theological question for an adolescent girl.  Other moms are fine, but your own mom is strange, embarrassing, frustrating, odd….UNCOOL! I’d like to be mad at my daughter, but I’m humbled to tell you that I was no doubt the same at her age. At 42 I now consider my mom one of my best friends. I’m thrilled to spend time with her in public places and have many great stories to tell you about how awesome she really is. This brings me some comfort when my daughter pretends she doesn’t know me.

Prayer: Lord, remind us that one of the greatest gifts of growing old is a clearer perspective. Help us to remember that as we spend time with others today. Amen.

Sara Bevans (reprinted from 2008 devotional)