Holy Week / Good Friday (Seeking: Why have you forsaken me?)

read Matthew 27:27-50

commentary | Rev. Bruce Reyes-Chow

Have you ever experienced such pain in body, heart, or spirit that you felt that God had deserted you? While I sincerely hope not, many who will approach the cross on this day know all too well the kind of pain that could bring even Christ to plead to God, “Why have you forsaken me?”

I will never forget my moment. About 20 years ago, I had a bout of pancreatitis and as the doctors explained, my angry pancreas was digesting me from the inside out. When I first arrived at the emergency room, it was overcrowded and I found myself on a gurney in the hallway literally trying to climb the walls because I was in so much pain. They had not quite diagnosed my problem so there was no pain management plan. I distinctly remember asking God, “Why?” And from the depths of my soul, wanting an answer as motivation to not give up.

Eventually, they dealt with my acute pain, but for a month, I had to sit in the unknown and weather a pain that never seemed to subside. They tried everything, tested for everything, and still, they could not get rid of the pain. I remember how frustrating it was. I would weep uncontrollably as I anticipated another wave of pain about to engulf my body, and I would constantly ask God, “Why, God?” And, “When, God, will it end?”

They kept reminding me that I had to be patient and that it would be okay. They were right. Eventually, my pancreas stopped being angry, the pain subsided, and I went home.

Healing comes when it comes. Sometimes we are forced to sit in and with the pain longer than we want to. I am not saying that we should intentionally seek painful situations and then we must remain in painful situations at all costs, but on this Good Friday, let’s not rush to Easter joy without first sitting with the pain, despair, and lament of the day. We know that healing, hope, and resurrection will come, but let's not set our feet in that direction at the expense of failing to know from what we are being healed.

Reflect: On this day, what prayers of lament and grief do you bring to God?

reprinted with permission from A Sanctified Art