Renewal

 ...We do not lose heart...though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 2 Corinthians 4:16   

I remind you to kindle afresh the gift of God which is in you by the laying on of  my hands. 2 Timothy 1:6   

He saved us, not on the basis of deeds which we have done in righteousness, but according to His mercy, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing by the Holy Spirit. Titus 3:5   

You lay aside the old self, which is being corrupted...and....be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. Ephesians 4:22-24  

This is the time of year when nature stirs up yearnings for new life while surrounding us with things that have lived through their seasons. The recent warm weather has encouraged green hope to sprout up from the grey ground, pushing through tawny leaves that are returning to the soil. There is a reminder of the promise of renewal for everything and everybody, through the miracles of God's energy in and around us.

My work as a musician gives me fallow periods, more often when the school year is dormant, but most of the time I find myself in the middle of myriad projects.  This can be taxing, as the work hours of each day can begin very early and, especially for musical theatre work, end quite late. I usually sense too late that I have upset the balance of activity I need in order to have fresh energy for everything in my life. My habit of overcommitting seems a noble one, since I can help a greater number of people; but the fact that I am starting to yearn for a day off makes me frame this activity more truthfully as being at odds with my spiritual needs and beliefs.

In rest there is a returning to the spiritual life inside of me, a stirring up of everything that is at my core. As in dreams, rest can give me the separation to help shed the spiritual weight of accumulated burdens. My weakness and weariness are derived from a lack of centering and grounding in the self that God has formed in me, and too much focus on what I perceive to be duty. But there is always a chance at refreshment for the spirit, a cleansing of the clutter of activity, and the absorption of divine energy. We were created to be vessels and communicators of God's love and power.

There is a plant in my living room which is hard for me to reach for watering, and it has been knocked down many times by my bulls-in-a-china-shop teenage kittens. It has been lying on its side, roots drying out, for weeks, while I have been limping along with minimal household maintenance. I was amazed to see the other day that the tendrils facing the window have crept onto the windowsill and sent small flowers up toward the light. Without even having the proper nourishment, this plant has not only survived but thrived. Somehow, that plant has found what it has needed to flourish and live its live fully.

I might feel like I am not in an optimal place to be my true self and do what I was meant to do, but God finds ways to provide what I need. God is patient with my learning, and if I simply open to receive renewal and guidance, God is already there in my roots.

Prayer: Hear me, Holy Spirit, and help me to receive you as I release the barriers that my habits have built up. Help me to open up to you and to let myself be regenerated by your energy. Reveal to me how the water of my baptism continually blesses and cleanses me in the unreachable places. Forgive the well-meaning blunders of my days, and hone me in your fire so that I can be more like you in this world that needs our spirits to shine. Help me to be aware of your presence, and grateful for the renewing mystery of that presence. Amen.

Mollie Manner (reprinted from 2017 Lenten devotional)