Extending Sympathy

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

And the same verses from The Message:

All praise to the God and Father of our Master, Jesus the Messiah! Father of all mercy! God of all healing counsel! He comes alongside us when we go through hard times, and before you know it, he brings us alongside someone else who is going through hard times so that we can be there for that person just as God was there for us. We have plenty of hard times that come from following the Messiah, but no more so than the good times of his healing comfort—we get a full measure of that, too. 

In a recent article in Real Simple magazine, five ways to extend sympathy were highlighted. Having lost my mother last summer, this article was interesting to me. It was titled “Simple Ways to Help a Loved One Navigate Grief”. The defining word here being "simple".

Five experts in different fields were consulted, and the two that I’m focusing on for this devotion are:

Send no-pressure invitations: extend invitations to others to join you for a meal, an outing, if they feel up to it.

Consider sympathy fuel for your soul: instead of exhausting or draining, offering something to others can provide a lift. Tell them, “I’m here to listen”. Let them know you are thinking about them. Sometimes we are afraid to say something simply because we’re not sure what to say…so we avoid people and situations. Offer an invitation (see above!). These things are not overwhelming, as this suggestion implies you may be thinking, but will be affirming and, chances are, much appreciated. Of course, every situation and every person’s journey through grief is different, but I have found this to be true when offering sympathy to those in my life who have lost loved ones. “Fuel for my soul”.

In our previous Wednesday morning Bible study, we explored the women of the New Testament (From Daughters to Disciples by Lynn Japinga), and in the chapter on the women who were present at the cross and resurrection, we find that they just showed up. They were present throughout the death and resurrection of Jesus. The author says: “when someone is in a crisis, merely showing up seems insufficient.” We may think that there is some tangible task that needs to be done for the bereaved. But: “sometimes, just being present is the greatest gift.”

The article cited above offers suggestions for both: offer an invitation when they are ready to accept, and just be present, if they are open to that.

Good advice, and good for those of us who want to offer Christian support during a sorrowful time. I was comforted by the cards and expressions of condolence offered by friends and church members following the death of my mother.

Prayer: Lord, help me to understand that it’s not difficult to let someone know that I care. With your help, I can reach out to others in their time of grief, no matter what their level of need is. There are so many for whom just being present can be appreciated. Help me to be that "present person" for others. Amen.

Donna Gustafson